Welcome to the 2nd edition of Jubilee News-A WHEN MEN SPEAK Publication. In this edition, you can expect to enjoy even more submissions by female artists including the Co-Host of WHEN MEN SPEAK-The Radio Edition, as well as inserts by the Editor-In-Chief, James W. Falcon. As of 8 a.m. (EST), Saturday March 2, 2013, the newsletter has received more than 660 page views since the first drafts were posted. Others are finding the information interesting, even helpful and we hope you do too.
Jubilee News celebrated its launch and 1st edition on Saturday, February 16th at 1 p.m. It was and remains the collaborative effort of a number of gifted and talented writers and artists that responded to the vision of Editor-In-Chief & founder of WHEN MEN SPEAK, James W. Falcon, to take some decisive steps toward reconciling male-female relationships. Together they whole heartedly intend to spark a RELATIONSHIP REVOLUTION! Jubilee News is an electronic, bi-weekly newsletter by women, for women to explore the reconciliation process. It provides a unique perspective on relationships with an extraordinary sensitivity to the needs of men. Jubilee News will present fitting responses to the issues discussed by it’s affiliate, WHEN MEN SPEAK, the men’s forum and WHEN MEN SPEAK-The Radio Edition, the bi-weekly Blog Talk (internet) Radio broadcast.
The works, WHEN MEN SPEAK, WHEN MEN SPEAK-The Radio Edition, & Jubilee News-A WHEN MEN SPEAK Publication are all the intellectual property of its founder, creator, & Editor-In-Chief, James W. Falcon. However, the submissions of all artists are expressly theirs. Jubilee News wishes to thank each artist for lending this newsletter your gifts, talents, and works. Jubilee News seeks only the best talent to convey the sometimes complicated message of reconciliation between the sexes. Your investment in the “relationship revolution” is greatly appreciated.
All requests to copy or reproduce material & information found in this newsletter must be submitted via electronic request to the Editor-In-Chief at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Dr.’s Prescription Against Dating The Fixer Upper
Ladies, how many of you appear to be stuck in this dating rut? You meet a man with great potential if he would just work on/stop/change/improve _____ (fill in the blank). Shortly into this relationship you notice that this man has some major ISSUES. Just because you need a man does not mean you need this man.
What are the signs that you are dating a man that is a fixer upper?
~He is afraid to commit, either he just got out of a relationship or is known as a serial
~He runs everything by his mother
~He puts time in with the “boys” ahead of time with you
~He makes poor and/or hasty decisions
~You have a “to do” list of things to help your mate; find a different job (or any job!),
to lose weight, pay bills on time
~He is insecure
~Lacks self confidence
~He is easily angered and may be prone to mood swings
What type of woman is attracted to the Fixer Upper?
- Often Educated
- Problem Solver
- Self sufficient and reluctant to ask for help
- Has a role model, often a strong single parent, who shows ease in solving problems
In these relationships you often play the role of Florence Nightingale, tireless working though each of his issues with poise and a smile. While in the midst of completing your daily “to do “list you may find yourself increasing referring to his list.
I know what I’m doing. Now how do I avoid repeating this cycle?
The best advice the Doctor can give is for you to gain the realization that men are NOT projects that need you to fix them. This is not to say that a man can not slay his dragons but merely that it is not your job to slay them for him. He must work on his own issues. Eventually he may be able to solve his issues and go from Mr “Right Now” to Mr Right. Until then your best bet is to stay clear or you will find yourself feeling overworked, used, unfulfilled and in some cases royally pissed when he moves on and someone else sees the benefit of all your hard work.
ATT is a licensed counselor in the state of GA and has held licenses in MD and NJ. She is currently pursuing her doctorate in Industrial Organizational Psychology.
MAIN STREET: WHEN MEN SPEAK (THE POEM)
What a happy day it will be for the woman who’s man is willing and able to share in a healthy, productive dialogue about their relationship. To break through the pain, to put aside the hurt, and press on to reconciliation would truly provide reasons to celebrate. Jubilance would fill the hearts of both and all those with whom they would come in contact. So what would happen if your husband, your boyfriend said this to you?
WHEN MEN SPEAK
by James W. Falcon
I think I’m finally ready
I’m left with no choice; it’s reconciliation I seek
So I gathered my thoughts and am ready to speak
Please indulge me
I long for you…for us, and the mountain top, the peak
I’m sorry, so sorry I’ve wait so long to speak
I’m…so lonely, in despair, our future looks bleak
Desperation has gripped me, there’s a gaping whole, a leak
Our rose pedals are rotten and reek
It’s not too late, to rekindle us, that wonderful thing we had; so special & unique
Please indulge me, I’m now able
For our next date, meet me at the conference table
Where honesty’s a must, not a lie spoken, nor fable
You talk, I’ll listen, you listen, I’ll speak
I’ll become a professor of us again, a student even, a geek
What ever is necessary, whatever is needed, it’s your heart I seek
You talk, I’ll listen, you listen, I’ll speak
What language would you prefer, Italian, Spanish or Greek
Let’s celebrate our past, envision our future, for the possibilities let’s peek
For let’s leave behind the hardness, and anger and approach this with meek-
Ness, breathless, sweaty, ready to exhale, and ever so softly…whisper
No choice; same page? it’s reconciliation I seek
Thoughts gathered, center stage and I…yes, I…your man..am now ready…
Sssssshhhhhh! You talk, I’ll listen, you listen, and then I’ll speak.
The bar has always been set at a high mark. But the question is: are we willing to aspire to reach it? If so, how so? And if not, why not? Let’s be open; let’s be willing to explore the possibilities. The rewards and benefits will impact the generations that follow.
With purpose and on purpose,
ARTIST’S CORNER I
The Artists’ Corner is the section of the newsletter devoted entirely to those expressive women who have submitted their work to Jubilee News for the uplift of all. Enjoy!
written by GPF
What if YOU could have a better life
by walking away from the bitterness and strife
What if YOU bypassed the oppression and pain
In an attempt to regain your domain
As the man God called YOU to be
Obedient to His call, receptive to His love, truly free
Because even if YOU think you’re wise
The ways of man lead to demise
His wicked heart will steal the joy
Of the little boy
Inside his mind’s eye, it seems
Satan’s strongholds choked the dreams
He had for YOU…
But it does not end
YOU can begin again
Be reborn, my friend
Refresh, renew the YOU
Because if you do
The ONE who
Should be the ONE who could
Love, hope, and be the best for YOU
Will be there, like the glistening sun
At the dawn of day
Will care for YOU
If YOU walk away, from the yesterday
Of those past few years
YOU can release the tears
Rejoice, share laughter
Can YOU hear it?
Hearken, be still
Embrace God’s Spirit
God’s Precious Flower (GPF) is a visual artist, dancer, writer & poet whose passion precedes her. She’s a southerner at heart with old fashioned values, lady-like poise and a heart of gold. Join me in thanking GPF for her contribution to Jubilee News.
THE DADDY PAGES-PART 2
How important is it for a little girl to have her father in her life? Is a father’s presence that important? What are the benefits of having a solid connection with your Dad? Ladies, follow a fictional character named Blossom as she grapples with these topics in her growth and development from childhood to womanhood in each biweekly addition of Jubilee News. Jubilee News is proud to present another installment from artist-author, Jai-ree, and…
THE DADDY PAGES
(cell phone vibrating)
Blossom answers the phone, in a very strong, confident, professional voice, without looking at the display to see who was calling. “Hello, this is Blossom.”
“Hey Girlie,” she heard from the caller. “Are you ready for your big date?”
It was her long time friend Celeste, calling to check on her best friend.
“Girl, I don’t know if I am ever ready for a date,” Blossom says. “It’s been so long since I’ve been out.”
“I know, I know but go and enjoy yourself,” said Celeste in a very motherly tone.
“You deserve to be happy AND you deserve to have some fun, so…be happy Girlie…and most of all…”
Blossom chimed in and they both finished the sentence together as they had done for the past 20 years, “have some fun” they said in unison.
“You know I love you, and besides, from the way you described this guy, if you don’t want him, Girl, I’ll take ‘em,” as Celeste laughs out loud.
“You tramp,” Blossom bellows as she swings her arm in the air as if to lovingly punch her girlfriend if she standing there in person.
“I know you would,” Blossom finished.
“Girl, you know this is most amount of action the two of us have seen in weeks!” “I want one of us to have some fun at least,” laughs Celeste. “So…” Celeste drags out.
“So….”Blossom drags out to mimic Celeste.
“So….”Celeste says in a tone that suggests a slight bit of girl to girl agitation,
“…have some fun chick!” “And be sure to do whatever is necessary to produce the best story, is all I’m saying,” said Celeste.
“So wait a minute,” Blossom says as she scratches her head and gests in curiosity.
“If I don’t go out with him, you want him. But if I do do this date, you want me to do whatever is necessary to make the best story for YOUR listening pleasure?”
“I got but one thing to say to you Celestine Maria Thunder,” Blossom said as her tone sharpens with a mischievous smirk on her face.
“Well what Girl,” says Celeste bracing herself as she realizes that her girlfriend just used her full legal name…which is never a good thing to hear from Blossom.
“Wait, I just…” Celeste screams as Blossom pressed the End Call button on her cell phone and laughs out loud to herself.
As Blossom continues to get ready, she reaches for her favorite bracelet-a gift from her Mom for landing her first job after college, something catches her attention out of the corner of her eye. She sees the crumpled edges of a piece of loose leaf paper sticking out of one of her diaries, so she grabs it. She sits down on the bed ever so slowly as it suddenly dawns on her what that piece of paper is. She slowly opens it. All but the one crumpled edge had been perfectly preserved, kept in tact since the day she received it many years ago. It was a love letter from her Dad. A letter he wrote to her for Valentine’s Day one year when she was in her mid teens. It was a letter she cherished. And it was the only piece of paper that she received from her Dad that she actually kept in her diary. She recalls the day she received it-the day she pulled it out of the mailbox. It was dropped off by her Dad who had to work a double that day. Dad worked a lot and was away from home quite a bit she recalled. But he always seemed to surprise his Baby Girl with the most special things. Although he worked a lot, Dad and Ma never had a lot of money to buy and to give expensive gifts, so Dad relied on his creativity most of the time. And, it produced some of the most memorable, most amazing gifts and times of her life, she thought. Blossom recalled the phone call she got from her Dad that prompted her to go to the mailbox.
“Baby Girl,” she remembers her Dad saying. She recalled that she could hear the wind whipping across the microphone of her Dad’s cell phone as she realized he was driving.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” said her father in a very low, almost apologetic tone. Dad struggled with giving gifts because he was humbled, almost ashamed that he could not afford the kind of gifts that he thought others would like. But that’s why she loved him so during those years; because she knew he was doing his very best.
“I only have a few minutes before I have to be back to work, but I just wanted to say how much I love you and how proud I am of you and all that you’ve done,” and he paused briefly as if he were about to cry,” Happy Valentine’s Day Princess.”
“Thank you Dad. I love you too, Dad. Happy Valentine’s Day,” she said to her Dad in a very thankful tone.
“I put something in the mailbox for you. Please get it before it rains, O.K.?”
Dad was always the “director.” His was a strong man and very authoritative. He gave many “orders” over the years but always in a mild and loving manner. He was the kind of person that would give you the shift off of his back and would go shirtless for days, because he saw the need to give to others without ever taking into consideration his own needs. My Dad stood six foot three, about 270 pounds and had a deep voice. He laughed like Santa Clause-very hardy. He smiled even through his pain. But often he was quiet, silent even, especially if something was really troubling him. He said he learned that principle from his father that it is always best to be quiet rather than say something hurtful to those you love because…unlike emails, you can never “recall” the message that you send. So Dad was quiet a lot around the house. Blossom also remember her mother telling her many times that Dad, who recovered from a mild stroke a while back, would sometimes go without his medications and even food, just to make sure his wife, my mother and I, would have at least some of the things we needed. Those were some of those quiet days. But even during those times, my Dad would wear a peaceful yet pain filled smile-the kind of smile that usually precedes a teary outburst. I knew Dad was hurting. He wanted to be a better provider. He wanted desperately to make more money so that he could provide more things for my Mom and I. And it bothered him that he worked so much but just never seemed to have enough money to make ends meet. But somehow, he managed to go to work each day with a new hope that today might be the day that could change everything!
Not sure if that is typical of most men. And I’m not sure how most men handle that. But my Dad’s approach was always to get up; to show up to work in advance of the shift start time; and to put in another full day’s work.
Blossom realized that she too has a work ethic and means for overcoming adversity much like her father. Work. “Yes, I am that man’s child-no doubt,” she thought.
Join us for another installment of…THE DADDY PAGES in the next edition.
ARTIST’S CORNER II: WHY CAN’T I MAKE HIM SCREAM
The Artist’s Corner is the section of the newsletter devoted entirely to those expressive women who have submitted their work to Jubilee News for the uplift of all. Enjoy!
Why Can’t I Make Him SCREAM!
Why can’t I make him scream,
Instead of him thinking I’m just mean,
Be his lover, be his friend, to his desires being kean.
Why can’t I make him scream,
And be the good kind of mean,
From his head to his toe,
And willing to show,
That my love for him continues to grow,
Keeping him running to his own door.
I intend on being the one he wants to see,
By being the mate God ordained me to be.
Knowing his needs, his thoughts within,
Being clear it’s not a Sin.
Why can’t I make him scream,
And remain the only one in his dreams,
Still being the woman God wants me to be,
So glad He allowed me to see.
My purpose like Eve to be his mate,
Watching him stand proud when he’s at the gate.
So glad there are sixty-six books and not sixty-five,
In Solomon, it’s clear that the bed is undefiled!
I can make him scream, getting back the same thing,
Keeping our union fulfilled, forever and clean.
Ladies, it’s OK. Make him SCREAM!
Above and beyond her professional accomplishments, MJAY has given herself to promoting the joy of intimacy within the confines of marriage. She believes there is no better expression of love than that shown and shared between husband and wife. Join me in saluting MJAY for her masterful expression of a Godly union.
Our attempts to reconcile can often be fueled with passion and sometimes anger. We should expect rises in tone and displays of emotion in the course of our dialogues. To focus on the words and not on the tone, is critical to the continuance of the dialogue which, if done lovingly, should increase our chances of experiencing a healthy outcome. None-the-less, the saintliest people are quite liable of some surprising outbursts. Read the poem below and see if you can relate to this woman’s expression of anger.
Your children needed to be picked up from school
And that darn dog of yours jumped into the pool
Your son…is hard headed…slipped and fell off the stool
You said you’d be home in time, boy was I the fool
Where were you?
Rescue me, somebody! Take me away to another world
Ain’t seen diamond the first, not a cotton pickin’ pearl
LET ME TELL YOU, boy…see…today’s not the day
Don’t try to be coy with me, I’ve got alot that I have to say
Keep your distance! Come too close-I’ll hurl something your way!
So, in case you haven’t noticed, today’s just not the day
You promised me…
That you would be sensitive to my needs
If you can’t buy me jewelry, then at least a string of beads
I’m trapped, in too deep, head hurts, heart bleeds
So, if you mean well,
I can’t tell…no more words
I need deeds !!!
A MESSAGE FROM YOUR CO-HOST: “LOCKER ROOM,” THE RESPONSE
On the February 23rd broadcast of WHEN MEN SPEAK-The Radio Edition, Founder, Co-host, & Editor-In-Chief, James W. Falcon, introduced a segment called the “Locker Room.” The setting (title) was chosen to present a response to the central question raised in the broadcast from a place where men gather-a place where the testosterone levels are at their peak, and what better setting is there than a men’s locker room.
From the locker room, James made his last and final appeal (of the broadcast) for women to take to heart the message that was shared as the central theme. The anticipated result: to spark a RELATIONSHIP REVOLUTION!
What follows is what James intended to share on the broadcast in it’s entirety:
“Ladies, if you really want to know how to love a man, then here’s what you do…be his partner with the same level of enthusiasm and willingness to give of yourselves to him as you had in the very beginning of the relationship. He needs to know, that he has a real partner in you. In public and in private, appreciate him. Be just as willing to shower him with appreciation, love and affection as you are to present him with a honey do list. Never mind those special days during the year, show him this level of attention, affection, and appreciation all year long and I guarantee that that man will be willing to go to the moon and back for you. You want to know how to really love a man? Show him that your love has no boundaries, and the frequency has no limits or conditions. Let me say that again. That is how to really love a man! That is what men really want.” James W. Falcon
Women’s Response To “The Locker Room”
We hear you loud and clear from the Locker Room Cuz! Ladies, often times we take the men in our lives for granted. We can easily get stuck in the “what about me” or “what have you done for me lately” syndrome. I have to admit that prior to engaging in these conversations with my cousin James, I too was somewhat guilty. I really didn’t understand that men need to be shown as much appreciation and attention as they do. I thought that it was a man’s job to make sure that we received the attention and affirmation we need. And to hell with what they need. No, I’m just kidding. But, I really didn’t get it.
To me, the thought of loving with a reckless abandonment was very scary because it meant that I would be vulnerable. And being vulnerable was a no no, because it was too risky. I didn’t want to get hurt so my actions and reactions in my relationships were based in fear. It was my opinion that loving with an unconditional or limitless love meant that I was sure to get hurt and, of course, I had to protect myself from that at all cost. Even if it meant losing out on true love. And after a few failed relationships, I have to ask myself so how is that working for you?
So I say to all of the men in your man caves who feel hurt and abandoned because you haven’t been able to get the attention you need from the women in your lives, come out, come out from wherever you are. You’ve spoken and we have heard you and feel your pain. If unconditional love is what you need, then that is what you’ll receive.
Co-Host, WHEN MEN SPEAK-The Radio Edition
That concludes the 2nd Edition of Jubilee News-A WHEN MEN SPEAK Publication. Join us for the next edition and updates. We thank you for your time. We look forward to your continued partnership as we fully intend to…spark a relationship revolution!!! You made us popular. Now, it’s our turn to make you proud. Take care in your travels.