Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
Always endeavoring to bring you more, we have included a section in this edition to record your comments after each poem and article. Please take advantage of it and let the writer know how much their work has helped you.
You made us popular. Now, it’s our turn to make you proud.
The works, When Men Speak, When Men Speak-The Radio Edition, & Jubilee News are the intellectual property of its founder, creator, & Editor-In-Chief, James W. Falcon. However, the submissions of all artists are expressly theirs. Jubilee News wishes to thank each artist for lending this newsletter your gifts, talents, and works. Jubilee News seeks only the best talent to convey the sometimes complicated message of reconciliation between the sexes. Your investment in the “relationship revolution” is greatly appreciated.
Reproduction of material & information found in this newsletter is prohibited. All requests to copy and or to reproduce material and information from this newsletter must be submitted via electronic request to the Editor-In-Chief at firstname.lastname@example.org. Your compliance is appreciated and your professionalism, celebrated. Thank you.
James W. Falcon
Co-Host, WHEN MEN SPEAK-The Radio Edition
Director of Marketing
Manager, Social Media
Memoirs of a Lady
Resident Poets & Spoken Word Artists
God’s Precious Flower (GPF)
James W. Falcon
|———-POETS, SPOKEN WORD ENTHUSIASTS, COLUMNISTS———–|
Memoirs of a Lady
James W. Falcon
God’s Precious Flower (GPF)
Memoirs of a Lady
From the Reservation
Meredith Duncan Weber
James W. Falcon
I am immensely grateful for the contributions of all of the above mentioned persons for their voluntary support of Jubilee News. Thank you.
-James W. Falcon
Welcome to our publication!!! Today, June 4, 2013, marks the release of the 7th Edition of Jubilee News. We’ve faithfully delivered “the news” from our perspective. Not the current events of the day though the news caption bar on our Main page offers a few tidbits. Not the headlines as captioned by some of the larger, older publications that have gone from paper to a supporting online version. It’s not that we frown on telling similar stories or on their work-no, not at all. But we’ve purposed to present a certain kind of news-that which pertains to the strengthening of male-female relationships. Fifteen weeks ago we set out and we poured out our hearts to spark social change; to start a “relationship revolution,” one person, one couple at a time. And, as if that was not a unique enough platform, we also purposed to do that by encouraging uplifting and empowering woman to woman exchanges on the topic. Our poets, spoken word enthusiasts, & columnists are, in my opinion, the most talented group that time and talent could muster. And they relentlessly give via their writing to this cause taking only the satisfaction of their investment in social change as their payment.
Biblically speaking, the number seven represents perfection and completion. Although we are far from perfect, the grace of the LORD enabled us to complete our mission with the release of a brand new edition-the 7th Edition- and hopefully, with each new edition thereafter.
From all of us here at Jubilee News to you and yours, we bid you health and wholeness, always!
James W. Falcon
Daddy to 5 Princess Daughters
“Pop-Pop” to 1 Grand Princess & 3 Grand Princes
Associates of Arts, Biblical Studies
Bachelor of Science, Psychology
Master of Science, Organizational Leadership
Founder, Café Encouragement & Café Encouragement Radio
Founder of WHEN MEN SPEAK
Founder/Co-Host, WHEN MEN SPEAK-The Radio Edition
Founder/Editor-In-Chief, Jubilee News-A WHEN MEN SPEAK Publication
Up & Over: Encouragement In Tough Times
What Men Really Need: A Step To Reconciliation Between Men and Women
PTICH BLACK: Navigating the Darkness
The Daddy Pages
Jubilee News welcomes more from the writer who goes by the name, Nekil. Nekil comes to us endowed with experience as a columnist as well as an Editor-In-Chief. Sent our way by another of our Jubilee News Team, Nekil’s passion for social change is not only obvious but contagious. Freed from her former obligations as Editor-In-Chief, Nekil brings Jubilee News fresh insight and a brand new flavor of expression in her writing style. Join me in celebrating Nekil’s return work. Enjoy!
Who Shot CHIVALRY?
Chivalry isn’t dead but it is definitely on life support, but one by one we can revive it!
Chivalry consists of courtesy, generosity and valor. A woman wants a man to exhibit these key components and the more courteous, generous and the more boldness and bravery a man shows a woman the more likely she will be wrapped around his finger, faithfully, catering to his every need! Maintaining a relationship consist of these qualities in addition to passion, commitment, intimacy and love. The problem in today’s society as opposed to in the past is that everyone seems to be in a rush and rushing leads to forgetting that each of these components when dating and building a relationship are determining factors in the success of the relationship.
We live in a high speed world; and with everything being available at the click of a mouse this gives us more access to everything we need and want without expending much effort. Instead of us opening up a dictionary or an encyclopedia we login to Google and ask Google to answer any questions we may have and no matter what you ask Google you will find that this is the difference between now and several years ago, pre-internet, and although technological advances has benefited us in many ways it has also had a trickle down effect in other ways, making home cooked meals a thing of the past because fast food is more accessible, fresh vegetables remain on the shelves while prepackaged vegetables sales are on the rise. We use our microwaves more than we use our stoves and the reason why many have resorted to unhealthy choices is because it takes more time and effort to prepare a meal than it does to go to a drive-thru or to cook a traditional home cooked meal. Phone calls have been replaced with text messages and emails making communication impersonal. The change that has occurred in dating can also be attributed to the time and effort a person is willing to spend on getting to really know someone so that a healthy relationship can be formed. The need for speed in today’s society has everyone in the state of mind that everything can be attainable quickly and is just a mouse click away, whatever we don’t want we delete it and we replace it.
Google has the answer.
Many years ago these sorts of things would actually happen:
A young man would fall madly in love with a woman and they’d eventually get married, have children and live together, happily ever after. In today’s society this is virtually unheard of and there is no one reason for this sudden change in the way we date but there are many aspects that have made is less likely for the next generation to even want to pursue a long term relationship or marriage with someone. In this world of many options, people are growing more and more impatient and become bored easily making people and things disposable because just as soon as you strive for the next new technological device, such as the newest hottest phone, video game console or internet program, it’s creators are hard at work creating the next best thing that will entice you, making you feel as though you’ve got to have it.
The dating game has changed drastically over the past 50 years; allow me to give you a glimpse into how dating used to be, how it is today and how each and every one of us can change the future of dating by implementing a few things that will give hope to the next generation.
DATING (BACK IN THE DAY)
Back in the day men and women actually had their mind set on meeting one person to build a future with them. The man would take the initiative in letting a woman know that he’s interested in her by asking her to go out on a date with him and traditionally he would be the one responsible for paying for the date. If the two find that they are compatible and have a mutual attraction to one another they will then enter into a courtship and embark on a more serious relationship which could possibly lead to marriage and children. Marriages were more successful because men knew that family was important and they worked harder to keep their families together. The music was even different; there were more love songs from men that would sing ballots about how good it was to be in love and hearing love songs had a big influence on how relationships were viewed. Men would even pick up the phone and call a woman and they’d spend several hours communicating with one another, getting to know all about one another was very important, especially if the reason for dating was to figure out if this person was the one you’d spend the rest of your life with.
Men and women for the most part still desire to settle down with one person and build a future with them for the most part but by not taking the time to really get to know one another during courtship leads to so many relationships failing because so many steps have been skipped and once you get deeply involved you realize that you don’t really know the person you’re with. Phone calls have been almost completely taken out of the equation as a means of communicating; many couples communicate more via text message and email. Dating has even become rare. A date today usually consist of a man inviting a woman to his home or a woman allowing a man to come to her home, which isn’t smart especially if you don’t know the person that well. Love songs are almost nonexistent, instead of being influence positively by songs such as, “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone” by Bill Withers or “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green we are constantly reminded that love won’t last in songs such as, “Hurt” by Christina Aguilera or almost in any Mary J Blige song. There are even songs that promote unfaithfulness and promiscuity like it’s cool to wonder from man to man or woman to woman aimlessly with no real intentions of a long term commitment.
What you put into a relationship is what you’ll get out of it!
To exhibit more chivalry a man should:
1) Be Courteous:
Courteous behavior should be demonstrated to all women, not just a woman you find attractive, you never know who’s watching and one day all men will eventually want to settle down with a woman for a more serious relationship; no one wants to grow old alone. Being courteous at all times is a good practice and practice makes perfect!
2) Be Respectful:
Respect should always be given to women. Respectful behavior consists of taking your time to get to know her, even though she may be irresistible to you it’s important that you find out her likes and dislikes by admiring her body but showing her respect by asking her permission before making any sudden moves with hopes that this will lead to intimacy.
3) Be a Good Listener:
Listen attentively to what she says without dominating the conversation; this lets a woman know that you’re interested in her on more than just a physical level.
4) Be Clear:
Being clear about your intentions with a woman allows her to be sure that what you’re offering is something that she’s interested in. Being a man of your word and refraining from making promises that can’t be kept is all a part of being clear about the direction you want to go in the relationship.
5) Be Generous:
Generosity isn’t restricted to money or material things, but it’s also not excluded. Being generous with your time, affection and attention let’s a woman know that she is important to you and a woman will gladly reciprocate all that she’s given making for the beginnings of a great relationship!
Nekil Colden is an extremely talented writer, a gifted visionary, and powerful motivational speaker. The above article was used by the writer’s permission as it was printed previously in Optimum Magazine. Thank you, Nekil, for choosing Jubilee News.
The Top 10 Things Single Women Should Do Before Starting A New Relationship
By Dr. Ann
- Forgive yourself and your past partners for all your past relationship mistakes and missteps. In short, get rid of all your baggage. Put simply, it is very difficult to travel by any means when you are bogged down with luggage. Clearing the air and setting aside past hurts will put you in a position to see this relationship with clarity and no damaging prejudgments.
- Draft a Will/Living Will. So you say that you’re single, have no children, and nothing of value? OK give me your address and leave your doors unlocked while you’re at it leave your car doors open also. Chances are there is at least 1 item that you have in your possession that is gem to you. Many families get along when family members are alive but start World War III when a loved one dies and have no will in place for a Fur coat. In those cases you find at least 3 family members who recall being told that they could have the coat upon the deceased’s death.
- Get Life Insurance. Let’s face it we all will be called home one day. The greatest gift you can give your loved ones is to be prepared. The average funeral costs approximately $10,000 – $15,000. Having life insurance will ease the burden of this cost for your loved ones.
- Reinvest in you. Read the following titles: The Bible by God; Can You Do it Standing Up? By Kenny Pugh; Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey; How To Avoid the 10 Mistakes Single Women Make by Laura Bagby. These few selected works should assist in many areas. They have been chosen to help you learn how a man thinks. They will also highlight the importance of knowing yourself and your self worth. You will learn lessons from other men and woman who have traveled your path. Lastly you should begin to understand the importance of valuing and taking care of your finances.
- Start a new hobby/start your own business. The time to explore a hobby or finally start that business you have been dreaming about is while you are single. When you are in the midst of entrepreneurial pursuits you will not have the time nor the energy to dedicate to nurturing a relationship. Although women are often masters at multi tasking; men often are not and will put a relationship on the back burner until he has achieved the goals he has set for himself.
- Take a cooking class. Whether you have difficulty boiling water or you’re considered the next Martha Stewart or Paula Dean you will find that taking this class will provide you multiple benefits. In this fast paced world we have all found it difficult to have
- Exercise. The Mayo Clinic reports credits exercise with 7 positive benefits. a. Improves mood b. Controls weight c. Boosts energy d. Promotes better sleep hygiene e. Fights health conditions/diseases f. Promotes physical intimacy g. Can be a fun activity
- Take Stock of your health. Visit your health care provider and get a full check up including blood work. Ensure that you see your dentist at least twice a year. Additionally, ensure that you visit an OB/Gyn at least annually and schedule a mammogram if you are over the age of 40. It is a good idea to know the full scope of your health. In the event that you have a health issue you will be armed with education and early detection.
- Get your finances in order. High Debt causes high stress to individuals but unchecked financial freedoms can doom most relationships. Its important to learn your true relationship with your assets as well as your liabilities.
- Get to know yourself. For some this may include some external life coach or therapeutic interventions. The external assistance may be quite necessary for serious cases of past history of abuse and violence as well as in case when a person is just stuck in cyclical patterns of dating the same type of person. Knowledge of self will help you to realize destructive and unproductive patterns in yourself and others. Knowledge will also help you know your worth. If you get to a point where you recognize your value, you will not let negativity destroy your peace.
“Dr. Ann” is a licensed counselor in the state of GA and has held licenses in MD and NJ. She is currently pursuing her doctorate in Industrial Organizational Psychology. Dr. Ann is a woman of extraordinary wisdom who is tenacious about helping people. In addition, she is a returning contributor. Join us in the celebration of this professional and her practical insight.
Jubilee News is proud to present another column (The Memoirs) from the columnist (A Lady). This section of the newsletter presents topics in a very sobering, straightforward manner designed to shock & stun both men and women back to honesty with, first: themselves; and then with each other. Do more than enjoy this as good reading, put this information to use and enjoy the return on your investment. Jubilee News presents the work of: From the Memoirs of A Lady.
YOU HAVE NOT YET REALIZED YOUR FULL POTENTIAL
I’ll never forget the day I was visiting with my auntie at her home in VA. I was in my mid- twenties and was fresh into a relationship with a new guy. I was so excited about it and was going on and on about the plans I had for him and me. I was building the rest of my life and all of myself around this one person. My auntie was in the middle of preparing for a dinner party. I sat in the kitchen with her while she chopped and cut and mixed this and that. As I was continuously talking, she was continuously chopping and dicing. I finally said to myself, “This woman ain’t paying me a lick of attention.” Just as the thought entered my mind, she looked up from her cutting board and said in one breath, “You have yet to realize your full potential.” Then she said, “Sweetie, would you please pass me that pan down there.” Now I’m thinking, “Auntie, did you not hear ANYTHING I just said!!!!”
Not only did she hear every word that was spoken out of my mouth, she heard the words that were unspoken. She heard the plans I had for myself and that they were shallow, beneath the capabilities and potentials that I had inside of me. She saw my worth, and spoke to that which was valuable and precious in her sight.
This is what the Father does to us! Because we are valuable and precious in His sight, he says, “For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, … thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.” (Jer 29:11) We, on the other hand, tend to follow our own plans … selling ourselves short of what God wants for us. We limit ourselves and reduce ourselves to what we believe “This is all I am capable of. This is all I am worth.” Because we are human and we feed off of our places of fear and insecurities, our thoughts towards ourselves are SHALLOW (lacking depth; superficial; taking in a relatively small amount of air in each breath).
TAKE A DEEP BREATH!!! Feed yourself more… more courage, more positive thoughts, more assurance that you are WORTHY. That you do deserve BETTER. That you are CAPABLE. Listen to the words that are being spoken out of your own mouth, are they negative?… speak positive. Are they degrading?… upgrade them. Are they demeaning?… add meaning to them. Are they killing you?… speak life. Are you dying from the labels, demands and criticisms that others have placed on your life? … choose to listen to the words that God has chosen for you… “Before I formed you in the womb I knew and approved of you as My chosen instrument, and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrated you;…” (Jer 1:5)
Realize your greater potential and aim to fulfill it.
From “The Memoirs of a Lady”
“The Funny Bone” is Jubilee News’ comic strip. We value love AND laughter, so check out the posts below and…get your laugh on! This week’s submissions are Jubilee News originals. Enjoy!
From the Intense Heat Chronicles (a play on the weather):
Got a text from my old girl, Mercury, which said: Wish things were different with us. Gonna be here up north with family for a while. They’re good people-a real low pressure system if you know what I mean? You used to be so fair weather. But now your throttle is stuck on seering heat. Missed the variety you used to offer. And this business with dat chick humidity, I’m sorry…I just can’t tolerate it. We need some time a part. After our last discussion, I waited 15 minutes, but the changes I saw didn’t suit me. I just need to cool down a bit.
Thanks for understanding,
Your girl, Merc
Found another note on my broken thermometer that read…
Realized I was wrong for leaving you. Thought about it over the weekend. Came back to talk, but found you and what’s her name…humidity…all hugged up. I’m tired of you playin’ games. We’re done!
I WISH ALL WOMEN THOUGHT LIKE MEN DO
by James W. Falcon
I wish all women thought like men do
You’d be surprised to know what we knew
We are far from brute beasts without a clue
But thoughtful beings with a panoramic view
Whose love runs deep with hearts that truly pant for you
I wish all women thought like men do
Then you would see us, feel us, understand us anew
You’d realize that there is more to us than shades of grey but a plethora of colors and hue
You’d understand why we’re quiet and stew
You’d partner with us for a ball game and a brew
I wish all women thought like men do
You’d sing what we sing, and we’d dance a happy dance together me and you
You’d cry when we can’t,
We’d roll on life’s slant
We’d live long, laugh long at least a lifetime or two
When we are quiet you’d let us be
For silence is the incubator for thought that enables us to see
How to tackle problems, no matter how large or tiny
No harm intended, Baby that’s just who I am…it’s me
I am thankful that our God made you for me and me for you
For your security an army of Goliaths I’d gladly slew
To buy more time to hold your hand, to feel your embrace, and to hear you say again and again, “I love you, too”
But sometimes…because we men are creatures of very few words…perhaps it would be easier…if…I could wave a magic wand, and…
…I’d wish all women thought like men do.
What follows is a compilation of things that have been shared with me over the years from the fellas that I have hung out with. They are bits and pieces of those rare moments when guys open up to thier closest friends and do a conversation dump on them, hoping to “get some things off of their chests to free themselves up enough to move on. This section’s purpose is to offer woman a glimpse into the mind of men-a place most men don’t allow many visitors. From that glimpse, it is my hope as Editor-In-Chief, to offer women another avenue of understanding the men in their lives. In addition, I hope to empowered women with an understanding that there are many more similarities than there are differences between the sexes. Indulge this unique approach by examining one of the uglier relationship scenarios to look for some gems of hope. Allow me to be your tour guide into the heart and mind of your man as we explore…
CONFESSIONS OF A CHEATING MAN
I never wanted to cheat. I never saw myself committing what I called the “ultimate betrayal.”. I never imaged my name to be used in the same sentence with the word “cheater.” Like, most men-most of my male friends that I’ve talked to about my situation, I felt guilty…at least at first. Then the pain of the guilt slowly gave way to contentment-a false of contentment but contentment all the same. It’s sad because the end never justifies the means. In other words, what I got was sex and lots of it. But what I wanted was a better, happier, healthier relationship with my lady. My I met her, she touched me on a number of levels. Visually, she was gorgeous! Cognitively, I thoroughly enjoy how her mind worked. Financially, was as secure as I was. We both university professors. Socially, she a power house. It’s not that she had no enemies…because definitely did. But even her enemies knew that she was as much at home in social settings as a lioness was in the wild. Spiritually, we both confessed Christ as LORD and Saviour had even found a church home to meet our fellowship needs. Emotionally, she was solid and “whole” meaning, she seemed to have developed a healthy understanding of all the pain as well as the pleasure she experienced in previous relationships. And she seemed more than willing to continue to explore the possibilities with me.
So, we hit it off quickly: had a lot in common, and both of us appeared to be on the same page about many, many things in life. The attraction, I believe, was mutual and was extremely strong. How do I know? Because we looked at each other with incredible intensity long after the “new booty” phase was over. With us, it always, always, always seemed to go so much deeper than the superficial. She touched my soul with all she was and as I said before, I believe I touched her’s in the same manner. So what went wrong, you ask? I have struggled to find a answer to that question myself. To this day, six months later, I still am not confident I can put my finger on it. I just don’t know what was going on with her. All I know is, a man knows his woman and my woman just seemed to pull away from me. She went from being super excited about us to giving off the vibe that she could care less.
For a while, I thought she was seeing somebody else. I mean, there was not a gradual change or at least none that I can remember. It all happened so fast. We were O.K. on Monday but by Wednesday morning, the 3 years we’d invested didn’t mean anything. I tried talking to her many times. She kept assuring me she was fine and “we” were O.K.? I tried being there for her: listening more, talking less; exploring ways to be helpful, thoughtful of her needs, and considerate of her wants. But I couldn’t stay in that mode long because I felt she just kept pushing me away, telling me not to worry, and denying that anything of significance was going on in his mind and heart. So…I got tired and I…I…couldn’t stand to see such a strong woman silently suffering the way she was. I felt helpless. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was less than a man. Men-those of us that choose to listen-are taught to take care of our own, especially our woman. I had been her everything! I was her confidant and her comforter. I was a good provider. I lavishly showered her with whatever means I had available though I realized that that was fairly limited at times. I could do for her on every possible level. Or at least, so I thought. But this time, this time it was different. My humor didn’t snap her out of it. My attentiveness didn’t seem to make a dent.
Though she was only in this mode for brief time, it felt like an eternity and the feeling of powerlessness was so overwhelming, that I couldn’t bear it. Why couldn’t she just tell me if she found someone else? Why couldn’t she simply explain that she was tired of “us” and she wanted to move on. Why wouldn’t she talk to me? I would not have ever admitted it then, but I’m admitting it now, I was angry and I was scared. I thought I was loosing the one thing-the one person- that meant everything to me and I didn’t know how to cope with that. I got so angry, that I just wanted to walk away. Walk away and leave all of my things there and start a fresh with someone else, somewhere else. I few times, anger fueled me enough to jump in my car and just start driving. Twice, it happened and twice I was sober minded enough to reach out to one of my boys who instructed me to turn the car around and to go home to my woman. And both times, I listened. Why? Because I needed to believe that my lady could be O.K. I needed to believe something…anything. And looking back on things, I could have probably saved us the pain of adding the weight of betrayal and infidelity to shoulders that were already overburdened. I could have…
Stay tuned for the next post in this ongoing series of “Confessions of a Cheating Man.”
That concludes the 7th Edition of Jubilee News-A WHEN MEN SPEAK Publication. Join us for the next edition and updates. We thank you for your time. We look forward to your continued partnership as we fully intend to…spark a relationship revolution!!! You made us popular. Now, it’s our turn to make you proud. Take care in your travels.