The Heart, The Hurt, and the Healing of a Whore

by Michelle Pringle

Jubilee News celebrates the arrival of yet another powerful voice of change to the team. Like a missionary heralding the Gospel to those who have never heard it, Michelle Pringle, is revealing the loving kindness of her God to those who have been cut up, cut out, and cut off by church groups and family members because of their actions. Michelle not only conveys a message of hope, but one of healing for all women, no matter the circumstances in which they may find themselves. Join us in welcoming this vibrant and passionate speaker and columnist as she delivers the introductory installment in a life changing series entitled:

“The Story of Tamar: The Heart, the Hurt and the Healing of a Whore”!!!

I know what they say about you but, that, my friend, is not who you are! While you may be guilty of doing“it”-whatever your “it” may be, you are not “IT”. While you may have slept around, you are not a slut, circumstantial events may have presented a door that caused you to sleep on the integrity that is instilled in your inward parts, but you are not altogether dishonest. While survival of the fittest may have enticed you to make decisions that were unfit for a person of your caliber, you are not that design. You are not sin. You are not destitute. You are not cursed. You are not unlovable. While you are far from perfect, you are the Lords present for such a time as this!

Despite ethnicity, socioeconomic, denomination or political beliefs, I believe we all can agree that one of the most irritating things in life is to have someone call you out of your name. More likely than admitted, words can indeed bruise the spirit of a person, to degrees that a physical attack could never penetrate. Vaseline, the removal of earrings, the gearing up with fighting clothes or the adrenaline stemming from a crowd cheering you on, none of these are are enough to ensure victory in verbal conflicts. Hence, the reason that it is important to mind the things that we say to others, as well as, mind the things that we take in from others.

I can recall a time in my youth where a young lady suggested that I would never be good enough to be with her man. For years, I didn’t act in a manner to try to prove her wrong. I was hurt. My esteem was hurt. I was innocent and was rebuked by pastoral leadership and found myself in a war that I didn’t know I was signed up for. I had no voice. I had no choice. I did, however, have a bruised identity. (If you all stick with me, we may be able to do a series on the pangs of being dropped by leaders who are, idealistically supposed to protect you!!!) Although, I continued on in life, I realized that a pain ignored is not a pain eradicated. Years later, and for years, I engaged in as inappropriate relationship with this young man. Unbeknownst to me, it took years to be released from a web that I created because of seeds sown into my garden of life. Verbal attacks are so powerful that if we are not careful, there may have been words spoken over you that are eating you up from the inside out! It was not until I woke up and was touched by the Lord that I realized that my stony heart didn’t allow me to feel remorse, because, just as she attempted to discount me with words, immature pain spilled over into adulthood. While the young lady moved on with her life and was growing her family, I was playing with the same seeds, from our past, which allowed me to discount and dehumanize her. She was no longer a person; rather, she became the face of pain. And, every chance afforded, I chose to sow seeds of destruction. Thank God for Redemption!

Unfortunately, when God forgives our sin, and doesn’t handle us according to our iniquities, triumphed over the law, which was destined to kill us, people will sometimes associate and mix up who you are with that which you’ve done. For instance, in the above mentioned story, am in no way cheering on sin. I committed adultery, but, I’m not adultery. I’ve committed fornication, but, I am not fornication. I’m sure some of you would like to know the difference between the two, and I’m so glad you asked!!! These things do not hold me captive and are not active ingredients in the makeup of my being. Repentance mandates forgiveness and the turning away from sin by the sinner. It does not matter, what you have done, I’ve got jubilee news just for you! The PSA reads: There is yet a Balm in Gilead who delights in piecing you back together while obliging pain to pay you back!!!

For the next few weeks we will be offering articles from a series I’ve been working on called, “The Story of Tamar: The Heart, the Hurt and the Healing of a Whore”!!! Genesis 38 and 2 Samuel 13 both chronicle stories of two women who have the same name, struggled with similar situation, both living patriarchial infrastructures that were debased, degraded, and even dehumanized women. Both stories serve as the perfect depiction of how the despair of injustice and inappropriate treatment is difficult to bare and is often the product of broken promises, deception, and immortality. These narratives will serve as a backdrop that undoubtedly illustrates that one heart wrenching pangs of physical and verbal attach is that gains momentum by inflicting great hardship on those who have no voice or choice.

I beseech you Beloved, please journey with me during the next 3 editions as we will be reminded of our identity, worth and promises of the Lord, for those of us who should have perished in the last attack. The goal of the series is not to point fingers, rather, to identify and admit vicious cycles, comprise a list of possible solutions and to be forerunners for women to come. Join me in encouraging and equipping those who have no voice, no choice and no identity. Soren Kierkegaard advises, “The Tyrant dies and his rule is over, the Martyr dies and his Rule Begins.” —

Until we meet again, please think on these things:

PSALM 139

1O Lord, You have searched me and known me.

2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;

You understand my thought afar off.

3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,

And are acquainted with all my ways.

4 Forthere is not a word on my tongue,

But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.

5 You have hedged me behind and before,

And laid Your hand upon me.

6 Suchknowledge is too wonderful for me;

It is high, I cannot attain it.

7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your presence?

8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;

If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.

9 IfI take the wings of the morning,

And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,

And Your right hand shall hold me.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall[a] on me,”

Even the night shall be light about me;

12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,

But the night shines as the day;

The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

13 For You formed my inward parts;

You covered me in my mother’s womb.

14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully andwonderfully made;[b]

Marvelous are Your works,

And that my soul knows very well.

15 My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.

And in Your book they all were written,

The days fashioned for me,

When as yet there were none of them.

17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!

How great is the sum of them!

18 IfI should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;

When I awake, I am still with You.

19 Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!

Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.

20 For they speak against You wickedly;

Your enemies take Your name in vain.[c]
21 Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You?

And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?

22 I hate them with perfect hatred;

I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Try me, and know my anxieties;

24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,

And lead me in the way everlasting.

 

This is a Jubilee News rewind. This was originally published in the 5th Edition of Jubilee News.

The Publication solicits your feedback. Please leave a comment to share with us how the articles and poems have encouraged you. If positively, then please share that information with your family and friends. We also welcome you to provide feedback to our Founder & Editor-In-Chief via email at wmsjubileenews@gmail.com, if you so desire.

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